When you want to be a success in flirting, it all begins with the state of mind you are in. Some people are naturally people-oriented, who loves to spend time with friends and acquaintances, have a jolly good sense of humor and has a very natural way with those of the opposite sex.
These people make very successful flirts in an Interracial Relationship. Because you feel good about yourself, you make others feel good too. There is an obvious way to learn to be innocent and child-like at times.
You could master and use the skills of NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) to do these things – like use the swing in the park, jump in a puddle or spontaneously laugh at the smallest joke. You have to teach yourself to look at people not just as people but a convenient resource to open your doors to newer faces, newer ideas and newer challenges.
In some pursuits in life, the end justifies the means. In flirting too, forget what you will achieve, think how you can contribute in the connection just made. Stop worrying about what impressions you will create or what signals the partner will carry back home.
- Instead concentrate what you can offer at that moment. Your brain gradually gets used to your style, through repetition. And soon all these will come naturally to you. When you have reached the status of a “natural successful flirt.”
- Stop all pretensions. Be your natural self. As Sigmund Freud once said, “we leak truth from every pore”. Your pretensions do not last for too long. Remember, you can fool some people some time but can not fool all the people all the time.
Pretensions soon land you in a friend-less situation where opportunities become rare everyday. Needless to mention, you must show yourself in a good and pleasant light.Success is jumping from one failure to another, till you reach your goal. As Bobby Charlton said “if you don’t shoot you won’t score, if you do shoot, you may score, if you never shoot you will never score”.
- Instead of feeling demotivated by your failures, try to analyze, what went wrong, what could you said wrong and rectify your behavior the next time. Do things a bit differently and regularly do an audit of your failures. Soon you will learn the tricks of the trade and act judiciously with lesser chances of a failure.
- Try to fathom the impact of your flirting. Some women give those bedroom looks when all they want is friendship. Yet some other women send out some wrong welcome signals, when all they want is to draw your immediate attention. Study these subtleties carefully.
- You could practice some of your flirtatious “opening lines” in front of the mirror and check out yourself, whether you are making a fool of yourself. Consult your close friends and ask them to judge you and your actions. You will begin to understand the small nuances which make some people successful flirts.
There is no strict formula which you can follow – you have to customize it yourself depending on your own personality and the situation that you are in. There is no alternative to sheer simplicity. A simple word of admiration, coming from you at the right time for the right person on a right occasion will do the trick.
One of my favorite, all time successful line is simply saying hello and walking past. Stop by to turn back and give one of those looks. Yes, that does it.
- Try and develop a personality that is amicable and pleasing. Most importantly approachable. When you go out with a group of friends, extricate your self at times. The fear of rejection in front of a crowd sometimes scare away many prospective suitors.
- Look warm and friendly. An aloof and cold look does not attract anybody. In turn, it puts off many potential people from your circle. And if you think that your actions are unconsciously giving out these cold, stiff signals, immediately adjust it and act more polite and genteel.
- Don’t be overbearing. Give people adequate space to think, act and express themselves. I am sure you have met such people, who talk incessantly, boast and flaunt and never watches others’ reactions as if they were the only person in the room.
- Watch how others react when you communicate. Watch the mouth, the eyes, the skin color. Mouths get larger, lips swell, eyes widen, pupils dilate, skin flushes, changes colour, muscles around the mouth move and vice versa. These are tell-tale signals from others which tell you how you are faring with them.